Andrew Ducker (andrewducker) wrote,
Andrew Ducker

I hate speaking for women

Every so often a friend posts something funny or interesting in a locked post.

And when they do I ask if they'd be comfortable with me reposting it. Occasionally they unlock the post to make it shareable. Men do this more than women.

Recently this happened twice on the same day. And both women said I was fine to copy/paste, and both of them asked for no credit, and when I (thinking of writing this post) asked them for specifics, one of them had a specific abusive stalker that meant she was keeping her account locked, and the other had some previous-work people she wanted to avoid, and friends of her deeply unpleasant ex. They didn't even want me to say that much on the posts, because why risk things?

I know way more women who keep their account locked than men for these kinds of reasons. And that's not to say that I haven't had difficult relationships, and exes that I'm not on good terms with. It's that I'm not physically terrified of them, because it's dramatically much less likely that they'd ever physically try and hurt me, no matter how much they are upset at me.

And so I become the voice for funny, interesting, or important things that women have said, and they don't exist to the outside world.

And I hate that.
Original post on Dreamwidth - there are comment count unavailable comments there.

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