And I bump into some oddness around PHP, so the obvious first step is to ensure I have the correct version installed. A quick google tells me that putting a one-liner into a file and sticking it on the server will give me that information.
So I save it into a file called "info.php" and drop it in a folder, hit the upload button on my webspace's file browser, and it tells me that I already have a file called info.php. From 2008. Which turns out to have exactly that one line blob in it.
I assume that I was installing something back then (possibly RoundCube, when I was looking into better email front ends, before I migrated the backing store for ducker.org.uk to GMail) and needed to check exactly the same thing. And had the same thought process.
Original post on Dreamwidth - there are comments there.