Andrew Ducker (andrewducker) wrote,
Andrew Ducker
andrewducker

Possibly the finest spam of all time

Received by a friend, who got it at work, and would thus rather remain nameless. Comments within are hers.

RE : INFORMATION [ok, nothing too urgent, then?]

YOU HAVE BEEN TARGETED FOR ASSASSINATION OVER A PAST LEGAL FINANCIAL MATTERS . A HIRED INTERNATIONAL ASSASIN HAS BEEN HIRED TO KILL YOU .

[Oh dear.]

ALL INFORMATION AND CONCRETE EVIDENCE WILL BE FORWARDED TO YOU , BUT THAT SHOULD BE AFTER THE APPREHENSION OF THE ASSASSIN . PLEASE DO NOT DISCLOSE THIS INFORMATION TO ANY BODY, INCLUDING ANY OTHER ENFORCEMENT PERSONEL IN YOUR REGION. OUR EFFORT TO TRAP HIM MIGHT BE JEOPADISE , IF OUR STRATEGIES ARE EXPOSE BY OTHER ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES BEHIND THIS CRIME . [They might be jeopadise? Oh no!]

FROM THIS MOMENT SEE ANYBODY AS SOMEBODY THAT WANTS TO KILL YOU. [Is it you?]

THE PRIVATE INTERNATIONAL INVESTIGATOR TRACKING THE ASASSIN , WANTS YOU TO PURCHASE OUR DEVICE SECURITY ALARM, AS YOU ARE EXPECTED TO PRESS THE DEVICE ALARM IF YOU SUSPECT ANY ACTIVITIES .WE CAN COME TO YOUR RESCUE THROUGH ANY OF OUR ATTACHED SECURITY PERSONEL, AND THIS IS POSSIBLE
WITHIN OUR NETWORK CLOSE TO YOU IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES . [Oh, good. Plenty of time if I realise someone is shooting me at point blank range.]

PLEASE TRY TO COOPERATE WITH US. [Oh god, it IS you!]

WE WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU .
HAVE ME CONTACTED ALSO ON THIS EMAILS : bauer@bauer.atmailcloud.com fffbureau@anpa.nl

REGARDS,
AGENT BAUER. [What, the guy from 24?]
INTERNATIONAL INTELLIGENCE BUREAU




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