Andrew Ducker (andrewducker) wrote,
Andrew Ducker

Five Questions about me

In-between yoga and swimming it seems I have time for a meme, via mountainkiss:

(1) How do you think being married will change your life and your relationship?
On the one hand, I don't see why it should. I don't believe that the ceremony or the concept have any magical powers - it's a public celebration of our love, and I'm very happy to be doing it, but I don't feel like it _should_ make a difference (except that I don't have to worry about Julie being able to see me in hospital, legal issues, etc.). On the other hand, it may well make a difference, and I can think of nobody else I'd rather find that out with.

(2) What are you most proud of?
That's a difficult one, because pride isn't something that I tend to engage with a lot. I'm proud of some of the software design I've done at work. I'm proud of being there for a friend when they had a nervous breakdown back in 1997. I'm proud that I can be there for Julie when she needs me, and that I made it easier for her to do her PhD. But these all feel like "What you do.", not something that I wander about having a feeling of overwhelming pride in. Life has problems in it, I try to deal with them as best I can (and sometimes do better than others). It's not about pride, it's about getting on with things.

(3) What are your hopes and aspirations for your career?
That I get to do interesting things, feel somewhat fulfilled, and earn enough money to be happy. Work isn't the focus of my life, but it is where I spend a large chunk of my time awake, so I want to enjoy it. But I don't feel any particular urge to change the world. I do feel a need to change the way bits of the company works, but that's purely because some of those bits annoy me, and they'd be less annoying if they were more efficient.

(4) What does friendship mean to you?
A variety of things. At base, it means the ability to spend time with people without going crazy. I have old gaming friends where the basis of our friendship is longevity of contact, based around large amounts of orc-slayage. And that's absolutely fine - some of them are close enough to be coming to the wedding. There are issues of trust - I don't seek people out to spend time with them unless I feel I can trust them not to have emotional explosions at me, or otherwise treat me badly. And I tend to treat my friends as they treat me - if they trust me and are generous with their time/energy then I do likewise. I get to do this less often than I used to, as my raised levels of stress mean that I go out less. But I still have the feelings, they just get less expression than I'd like.

(5) Do you plan to continue your political activity, and if so then how and to what end?
Not at the moment. I get frustrated too easily, and the thought of pouring lots of energy into things that don't have any likelihood of having a positive outcome is one that fills me with dread. And as politics in the UK is such a giant clusterfuck, that cannot improve under the current system, I don't feel that there's anything I could do in general politics that would actually have a clearcut positive effect. If a single issue came up again that I felt I could stand firmly behind then I'd work on that. And, oddly, if Scotland became Independent then I'd be happier being involved, as I like the Scottish electoral system a lot more than the UK one, and without its ties to the Westminster system it might be easier to improve.

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