May 10th, 2020


Life under lockdown

I have have been really rubbish at communication. I keep thinking I ought to do a general post about how I've been entirely caught up in things and not able to get enough brain space to feel like I'm communicating well, and then just not communicating at all when it comes to anything I feel is important. This has included things like comments on my posts, and I'm sorry if anyone is feeling ignored.

And my instinct here is to again not go into it, because I wouldn't do a very good job of it, but then I know that I'd put it off until tomorrow, and then put it off again further.

But basically at the moment the schedule during the week is to swap Sophia hour and hour about, with one of us getting work done while the other keeps her alive, until we get to somewhere around 5:30, at which point I cook, we eat between 6:30 and 7:30, the three of us get to bed feeling wrung out, and then watch the kind of TV which doesn't require any brain power until we all fall asleep, to sleep variably-badly and then repeat.

And so I do have little gaps to do stuff in, usually while walking to the corner shop, or while taking Sophia entertains herself, but those last less than five minutes, I don't I have enough concentration to do anything justice. And so I keep feeling bad for not keeping up with things. So Instagram gets photos, and Facebook/Twitter get the occasional short update, but that's about it.

I am 100% sure that none of you are judging me (or, to be honest, even thinking about me most of the time - everyone is bound up in their own lives). And I'm not even really complaining - I enjoy spending time with Sophia*, Jane is lovely and very supportive, work is actually going well**, and it is lovely having a garden and being a 20 minute walk from this scenery. And I do get intermittent chunks of time entirely off, usually when Jane and Sophia are having a nap - but with my brain overwhelmed I go and play games for a bit. But we are really looking forward to nursery reopening so that we can hand them £1200 a month to keep her entertained during the day!

*We spent half an hour earlier playing hide and seek for the first time, where she was hilariously awful at hiding, and adorable at finding us.
**Although it was quite stressful rolling out software to 4,000 people last week, that all seems to be working fine now.
***I am loving Ori and the Will of the Wisps. Although I have been stuck trying to complete this chase since yesterday and I swear it will be the death of me.
Original post on Dreamwidth - there are comment count unavailable comments there.

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