I've not been updating much. Not been engaging an awful lot online either. Mostly been feeling grumpy and deliberately locked-in. I've seen a few people recently, and enjoyed it, but I tend to last about two hours before the inexorable pull of home kicks in and I feel jittery and unable to focus on much. I find myself easily distracted, and actually craving distraction, but unable to satisfy that craving.
All of which is probably stress, for all the usual reasons. The eye hasn't helped there, although it now seems to be clearing up - I'm to reduce my Maxidex drops from 8/day down to 1/day over the next six weeks, with a check-up next Wednesday to ensure that my eye pressure doesn't go up too much (It's up from 12 to 18 in the last week - with 19-ish being as high as they're comfortable with before glaucoma becomes a possibility in the long term).
The flat hasn't helped - I can't remember if I talked about this, but the joiner we used put in the dishwasher and the washing machine too tightly, with the result that he actually broke the legs on the dishwasher getting it in, and the washing machine couldn't ever be fixed without dismantling the kitchen around it. That's going to cost about a £1500 to get sorted. Thank goodness for bonuses! I'm really looking forward to this getting sorted next week, and having a working dishwasher again.
But basically I feel caught between wanting time off, and not knowing what to do with myself. Between wanting distraction and every distraction feeling trivial. Between wanting to move on with my life, and not being able to.
I guess I'd better start with the washing up.
Original post on Dreamwidth
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