August 26th, 2011

Illuminati

Vote for the lolz

These are, apparently, the top ten jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe

The least worst of these jokes is

Nick Helm: "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."
8(9.4%)
Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."
25(29.4%)
Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works."
12(14.1%)
Tim Key: "Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought... once you've hired the car..."
1(1.2%)
Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."
4(4.7%)
Sarah Millican: "My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."
11(12.9%)
Alan Sharp: "I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."
15(17.6%)
Mark Watson: "Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife."
2(2.4%)
Andrew Lawrence: "I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails."
3(3.5%)
DeAnne Smith: "My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin."
4(4.7%)


with thanks to gonzo21 for posting them in the first place.
Illuminati

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