April 30th, 2006


Advice for Girls

I can confirm that numbers 2,3 and 9 are definitely true.  (stolen from pickwick)

1. Having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) does not equate to having a life. By the same token, having someone else's boyfriend does not mean you have more life than them, and having two boyfriends does not mean you have twice as much life.

2. When you have sex with a man for the first time there is no point in the process where he will be thinking about how bad your cellulite (etc) is. He will be too busy thinking 'Hurray! This woman is prepared to have sex with me!' Or perhaps, 'Oh God! What will she think if I come too quickly?'

3. If a man tells you, upon prompting, your bum does not look big in something he might be lying, he might be telling the truth, but he is definitely bored.

4. If your boyfriend keeps telling you your stomach is too fat or your tits are too small or your thighs are too flabby, it does not mean there is anything wrong with your stomach/tits/thighs, it doesn't mean you need breast implants or gym membership or to starve yourself - it just means you need to dump your boyfriend.

5. Your period will be irritating, messy and often very painful. Get over it. You cannot claim you are equably able to be a surgeon, pilot, or bank manager as any man if you whine about needing a day off a month to go home and cuddle your hot water bottle. Nor does it give you the right to treat other people badly for a week because you are 'hormotional'. You might well be hormotional, but you can - and should - rise above it.

6. Equality - and equality of attitude - cut both ways. If you think the fact that Lorena Bobbit cut off her cheating boyfriend's penis is hilariously funny, you should be prepared to laugh with a man who cut off his cheating girlfriend's breasts.

7. The only circumstance in which it is appropriate for a man you are having sex with not to wear a condom is if you are in a faithful relationship and both of you have a clean bill of health. If a man tries to cop out of wearing one in any other situation, impress upon him that your vagina is like an exclusive night club - you don't get in unless you are on the VIP guest list and properly attired.

8. Snogging one of your girlie mates in a nightclub once does not make you bisexual. You only get to wear the pearl if you are prepared to suck down the oyster. Leaving 'acting bi to look trendy and make the boys interested' to ageing pop stars with flagging record sales or talentless nonentities who are so overexposed even the tabloids are bored of them getting their tits out.

9. Never ask a man what he is thinking, especially in bed. He will be obliged to disappoint you with the truth or deceive you with a lie.

10. If your relationship is flagging, or you have convinced yourself it is, do not spend hour after hour of your time analysing it and replaying conversations, emails and texts to try and find some hidden meaning. There probably isn't one. If you find yourself doing this, stop; pick up a book, put on a film, go to the gym, do anything that will engage or stimulate your interest. Most women, by the time they are forty, will have wasted enough time to have written a book or learnt a language or done a 100 small things that would enrich their lives, on pointlessly poring over men and relationships that they will ultimately come to see as insignificant or irrelevant to them.

Losing Myself

There was a discussion a while back on my journal which digressed rapidly from the original subject (my distaste at handling my own faeces) to the nature of self-awareness and the use of language therein.  The main topic I recall was a disagreement between myself and thishardenedarm as to whether it was possible to experience things without parsing them through our language filter.  He said no, I said that it was possible to _experience_ them, but you couldn't think about them, which was why when people "lost themselves" in an action they tended to not have any significant memory of what they'd been doing.

Being the kind of smug person who doesn't like leaving an argument open just because they don't have any evidence to hand it was a delight to bump into this today, which says that the prefrontal cortex is pretty much entirely switched off when people are enjoying music/images on a purely emotional level.  The best quote is:

"We propose that the role of self-related cortex is not in enabling perceptual awareness, but rather in allowing the individual to reflect upon sensory experiences, to judge their possible significance to the self, and, not less importantly for consciousness research, to allow the individual to report about the occurrence of his or her sensory experience to the outside world.

To conclude, the picture that emerges from the present results is that, during intense perceptual engagement, all neuronal resources are focused on sensory cortex, and the distracting self-related cortex is inactive. Thus, the term "losing yourself" receives here a clear neuronal correlate. This theme has a tantalizing echoing in Eastern philosophies such as Zen teachings, which emphasize the need to enter into a 'mindless,' selfless mental state to achieve a true sense of reality."

Goslings, islands, squids and whales

Yesterday was spent:

Feeding goslings in Lochend Park
Which me and Ed wandered round twice, admiring the new look (the council have cleared up a lot of debris and made it much cleaner) and watching the little goslings being led about by their parents.  We were mobbed by various birds when we fed them some bread, and I was most amused to watch two geese warning off a dog.  Oh, and at one point there were two goose pairs, each with three goslings, but by the time we left the two pairs were heading off in different directions, one with two goslings, one with four.  Do geese not care whose young they raise?  Or do they habiually engage in sleepovers...

Lunch at Crammond
Where, sadly, the walkway was under 6 feet of water, so myself and surliminal ate sandwiches and read the papers while lying on the grass, then walked up-river to dalglir's place.  Where we played with his cats and talked about a variety of things before heading back to surliminal's place to hang a couple of her pictures and watch Dr Who, before heading out to the cinema to see

The Squid and The Whale
Which was well written, well acted, well directed but ultimately left me feeling pretty down. It felt like the first 2/3 of a movie, and left me feeling that it didn't so much end as stop.  And while it wasn't as depressing as watching, say, Nil by Mouth, watching characters being relentlessly messed up at each other wasn't really what I wanted from a movie.

Today will be spent
At Lochend Park again, where we spotted a basketball hoop yesterday, and are going to take a ball down to muck about in the sun with it.  And then at Beltane tonight.

Linking it all together

My Nokia 6630 synchronises its contacts with my Yahoo contacts.  So does my PDA.  This means that I have a permanent backup at Yahoo, and if I lose my phone I can resynchronise all of my contacts easily.

The only thing that _doesn't_ synchronise is Thunderbird.  Anyone know of a way of doing so?