March 6th, 2005


I am teh Winz0r!

Last night we sojourned to the abode of my beloved brother stenchpuppy, there to imbibe of alcoholic beverages, delight our palates with various sundries and celebrate the increased age of Rob, who is sadly lacking in on the LiveJournal front. The evening was advertised as one of games and jollities, revolving largely around the American pasttime of Poker, something I was looking forward to, it being quite some time since I was last able to indulge in the fine art of braggadocio.

We sat down at half past six, nine of us gathered around the table, fourty-five pounds in the pot, various piles of chips in front of us, our expressions varied from nervousness (those who had not played before) to calm (those veterans who had played in actual tournaments) via sheer giggliness (those who had, perchance, began indulging in the aforementioned beverages a little earlier than most). The rules were explained (to the enlightenment or confustication of various newcomers) and play began.

I shall skip over the stressful four hours that followed, where most of the new players were swiftly removed, stakes inevitably climbed, concentration's focussed and then waned as tiredness set in, wine and beer were both drunk, the occasional deal was fumbled, more people were knocked out and eventually the numbers were knocked down to the final three (that being those who were destined to take home £5, £15 and £25). I was the first to fold, squeezed out between green_amber and George (who has played in the tournaments mentioned earlier and was once a single turn of the card away from being on an expenses-paid trip to Las Vegas itself). Unluckily for George most of my chips were lost to green_amber who had a playing style that some might describe as erratic but turned out to be merely unconventional - a mixture of aggression, luck and alcohol that successfully scared many from bidding against her. George valiantly battled against her, twice betting all he had and doubling his money before making one rash judgement too far and settling for second place. green_amber was so overcome with the excitement of having won her first ever game of poker that she had to lie down for a while (although some bad losers were heard to mutter that it was the high levels of alcohol that led to this).

We have agreed that this noble evening must be recreated again, in a fortnight or two. I look forward to testing myself once more, although I'm sure that I could not stand the excitement more often than that.

The Principles of Jewish Buddhism (Stolen from drjon)

1. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such round shoulders.
2. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
3. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
4. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?
5. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
6. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
7. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
8. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.
9. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish.
10. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?
11. Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.
12. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
13. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
14. Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes!


Having realised that life is just too damn short I have switched to reading Slashdot at 3. Suddenly the world seems a happier, shinier place. If only life had a similar function.

Brief explanation - comments on Slashdot are rated by other users (moderated up or down). They start at 0 (for anonymous people) 1 (for people with accounts) and 2 (for people who have been moderated up enough times to be considered trustworthy) and then can be moderated up as far as 5. Reading at 0 is akin to plunging your head repeatedly into a large bucket full of particularly stupid squid, reading at 2 means that you get to read everything that anyone at all thinks is a vaguely sensible thing to say, reading at 5 means you never get to see discussion, just statements, 3 seems to be a reasonable compromise. What I'd really like is for it to set it to a level that gives me the top-rated 50-ish comments, but that would be far too sensible.