January 14th, 2005


The seven best positions in bed

Are here.

Having been woken by

  • cats eating bits of plastic

  • cats purring on my head

  • cats wondering what was under the duvet

  • cats playfighting on my knees

  • cats running up and down the corridoor

I can assure you that the best one is very much like number 2.

I was never cool in school

In lieu of any actual content from me (my brain is still out of gear), I present theferrett saying things would be saying if I could. Here.

Nobody would say that I was eager to learn, but I knew that what they called "teaching" didn't exactly count as learning. I understood what they were trying to teach me, but I didn't get the whole point of having to repeat what you knew twenty or thirty times to pass the class. The only time I did homework was when I was confused on a concept and needed to get it right, which meant that my homework grades were riddled with empty zeroes and half-understood concepts.

I also refused to read books that I disliked. If a book was great, I'd devour it and turn in a cheerful essay on it… But if it sucked, I'd stop about a quarter of the way through and never finish. I read enough books to know what good literature looked like, and I could tell the teacher in explicit detail why I didn't think it was that good. Sometimes they agreed with me, but it didn't help my grades.

I wish someone had told me, "Look. School isn't about intelligence. It's a test of endurance. In real life, being smart won't be enough to get you by – you need to buckle down and do shit that you hate all the time. Losing weight, balancing your checkbook, doing the drudgery of any day job – we all hate them, but if you want to make anything out of your life you'd better hop to 'em, son.