August 18th, 2004



Slept only moderately well last night, have to be in unreasonable early at work tomorrow.  Have thus begged off the traditional Wednesday night game-a-thon in Stirling and am instead chilling out at home.

Will now go and spend some time tidying up.

I know, I know.  It's not natural.


Lightning is arcing across the sky outside, sometimes taking three or four forks to manage the whole thing.  Damned impressive.

Washing's on, washing machine's on, Aqua Teen Hunger Force is downloading.

I really should write something about how the whole education system is fucked up, but I really can't be arsed right now.

Doom 3 instead, I think.  Unless Ed fancies some F-Zero GX.

Scariness is next to insomnia

I went to see Juon - The Grudge recently.  I didn't actually find it that terrifying at the time - more spooky than actually scary.  But for weeks since I've been having recurring imagery from it floating around in my brain.  It has, in fact, been far scarier after the fact than it was at the time.

I don't cope well with scariness, and this has been the case as far back as I can remember.  I used to like having the light on in the hallway until I was quite an old child, and I still get nervous occaisonally sleeping in complete darkness.  I remember disliking the first half of 28-days-later intensely because I found it simply harrowing - I just wasn't coping well at all, and if I'd been there without friends I probably would have just left.

I started playing System Shock 2 once, and stopped after half an hour - all I'd done was wander from room to room and encounter the odd shuffling zombie, but the tense atmosphere had definitely got under my skin.  I quit and never went back.

Doom 3 I'm finding somewhat easier, but even then I can't play for more than half an hour at a time.  I just get too tense playing it.  Eventually I reach the point where I'm standing on one side of a door, unable to imagine opening it and facing whatever might be on the other side.  This despite the fact that I'm pretty darn good at FPS games and haven't met anything I couldn't kill in less than 7 seconds.  It's not the actuality that's scaring me - it's the potential.  And if I think about what could be potentiality encountered, it's not the potential either - it's purely the atmosphere.  Something about the game is bypassing all of my intelligence, grabbing my fear by the scruff of the neck and shaking it.

I think it's time for some nice GC games to calm me down again.

Bored of Sex

My attention span during sex is

30 seconds
5 minutes
15 minutes
half an hour
an hour
2 hours
4 hours
All week baby!