July 20th, 2004

Illuminati

(no subject)

I

I don't dance
9(17.3%)
I only dance when I've been drinking (or taking drugs)
8(15.4%)
I _can_ dance when sober, must I prefer to be 'loosened up'
9(17.3%)
I dance sober (or mostly sober)
26(50.0%)
Illuminati

Short Story - "Handy Man"

"Network card's dead in 224!"

My voice carries down to the other end of the datacentre where it elicits a scurrying, reassuring me that it was being dealt with promptly.  On row Twenty-two, fingers tighten round a screwdriver, reach deep inside a case, effortlessly pry components from their sockets, fling them to one side and mandhandle new ones into place, pressing then gently into place.  Moments later, another scurrying sound indicates that the job's done.

I flick the remote power switch and restore power to the box.  Rather than the cheerful beep I'm expecting I get a buzzing sound and the trip-switch flips into the off position.  Damn. 

Prising myself out of my seat, I stride down the concrete floor, footsteps echoing off the ceiling, bathing in the sound of dozens of fans  The clatter of hard disks echoes intermittently, like the chittering of tiny insects.  Occasionally you can almost hear words.  I pull a screwdriver from my belt and pull the front of the machine off, prodding around to see what's wrong.  It's instantly obvious where the problem lies - a trail of yellowish-green fluid across the motherboard.  I wipe it away and disconnect the box.  This one's going to be a rebuild.

Looking down I spot where the trail continues across the floor.  I trace it back until I find one of my Handymen cowering in a corner.  It knows it's days are numbered and it tries to slip past, but I spike it.  I scoop it up and grab the network card it had, taking them up to the heaps.  It goes on one heap, the card on the other, both useless to me now.

I'm running low on spare parts - time to go hunting for more.  Thank goodness for Google, that's all I can say, it's made life so much easier.  I pull up a newsgroup search and look for someone making rash statements.  Words have power, they pull me in - it's so much more easier to take someone that's asking for it.  "You'll take my computer from my cold dead hands." they say.

Thanks.  I'll take both.




Inspired by trashcanglam's comment this morning, repeated just above.  He may well now be terrified...