August 1st, 2003


Bad Days

I really don't know what it is about me that makes me capable of utterly illogical thought processes that seem to come up with a subconscious script that appears to be ( for last night at least) "I feel terrible - I know, I'll drink wine and eat tortilla chips until I feel really terrible"

How do I correct this to something more like "I feel terrible, I'd better spend a week or so eating properly, going to bed early and doing some exercise until I feel lots better"? I actually managed to do this a few weeks ago. I resigned myself to a few bad-to-awful days (no coffee, that's the killer to start with) and expected to feel better by the end of the week. And I did. Then I clearly got too cheerful and careless and BANG! back to massive carb consumption, drinking wine in the evenings and glugging coffee in daytime and not doing any exercise.

I have to pay more attention to how much I eat when I'm eating healthily - I suspect that it is quite simply not enough, and after 3 weeks or so, a survival imperative kicks in and I binge horribly until I restock my fat reserves back to 'sensible' from 'minimal'.


None of the above is me, by the way. It's Kirsty. But except for the word "wine", it might as well be me.

Somehow it makes me feel better that other people do just as badly as I do. Like it's a human thing to do it, and not just a me thing.

Long day

Got up.
Met Ed at Haymarket Station
Went to Dean Village.
Enjoyed the fantastic atmosphere as we walked along the riverside.
Played with Basset Hound puppies.
Got bus to zoo.
Marvelled at 50-kinds of animal. (Favourite animals: Otters, Penguins, Lynxes. Animals in cages that weren't large enough to keep them happy: Jaguars, Leopards. )
Got bus back into town, where Ed/Erin went off to see T3.
Fed cat
Got bus to Lothian Road, meeting Hugh along the way
Met Meredith and went to Itlaian Restaurant.
Italian Restaurant full, so went to another Italian Restaurant (Pasquales).
Pasquales was fantatic - had Pollo Paradiso.
Got bus back into town.
Collapsed into bed*

*denotes projected future action.