June 23rd, 2003


Therapy and Choice

It's amazing how much better I feel after writing that last entry - just getting my feelings out of my system and out into the open is consistently a great relief.

One of the things that therapy does is give people license to talk about their problems. It can be very hard to unburden yourself on your friends, either if they're not that close (so you don't want to drive them away or burden them with your problems) or too close (and therefore possibly involved in your problems themselves). Having someone non-judgemental to listen to you, take it all in and let you just flow is a great thing.

I wonder if this is another thing about modern society - if tribal societies tend to talk more, because they all know one another - because they are surrounded by their community. The loss of this led to the specialisation of some people into 'listeners', to allow us to fulfill this urge to talk which couldn't indulge when our local connections withered.

If so, with the death of local community, virtual places like LJ give people the chance to be surrounded by distributed community instead. To have a group of people who you can unburden in front of, share things with and talk things over with, and never feel that you're a burden, because none of you were forced to read this, you all chose to be here, and you chose to read this far down the entry.

I'm sure a fair number of people skip-read many of my entries, and that's fine, because the possibility of choice means that those that do read it are interested and I never have to worry about whether I'm boring people. I used to run a mailing list for my friends, and a fair bit of traffic was taken up with what people had been up to. I always felt guilty about sending much of this to the list, because I've never been that confident that other people would find mostof my life that interesting. Here, I rarely worry about that, because nobody has to read this, and the people that read it do so because they've chosen to. It's a great relief.

(no subject)

Have you ever said something so many times that you know that it's completely unreasonable to say it again, and yet something inside you wants to say it just one more time?