April 30th, 2003

Illuminati

Hitch-Hiking

You can now buy the complexe Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series (both of them) on one CD. In MP3 format, of course. Seven and a half hours long, this predates both the tv series and the books.

More here.
Illuminati

Lunchtime wastage

I went out at lunchtime to sort out transport to The Lake District.

Mum and Dad are down there on holiday for 2 weeks, so I'm dropping in from the 22nd to the 27th to see how they're getting on, hug the dog and maybe run up a few mountains.

Anyway, I wandered down to the train station at lunchtime, dragging Stephen with so that I had some company. My brain wasn't working at all, so I wandered to the toilet and then checked the exact date/location I was getting a train to before I even thought of picking up a ticket for the ticket queue. Thankfully, Stephen's brain was working better than mine and he grabbed one while I was still chatting on the phone, meaning we only had a 15 minute wait to be seen.

I finally got to the front of the queue, only to discover that the strike on the Tuesday/Wednesday means that I can't travel back by train. Of course, the website says "The scale of disruption is still unknown." which is terribly helpful, apparently you have to spend your lunch standing in a queue to find out you can't actually use the train service.

We then wandered back, snagging lunch at Sainsburies. I wasted 10 minutes of Stephen's flexitime and got nothing useful done.

It looks like I'll be catching a bus to Penrith... at 6:45 in the morning!

Tomorrow, I hope, my brain will be working better and I'll be able to get things done...
Illuminati

(no subject)

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test
Illuminati

Bad Joke

Stolen unabashedly from Adam

While visiting England, George W. Bush was invited to tea with the Queen. Given his political problems, he decides to take advantage of her years of leadership experience and asks her for advice. She responds that she surrounds herself with the most intelligent people she can find and lets them do their jobs.

Intrigued with this novel theory, Bush asks her how she is able to tell if people are intelligent. "I do so by asking them a test question" says the Queen. "Let me demonstrate." The Queen then dials 10 Downing Street and asks to speak to Tony Blair. "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer a hypothetical question for me". "I'll do my best, Your Majesty" responds Blair. "Your mother has a child and your father has a child" says the Queen. "The child is not your brother or your sister. Who is the child?"

Tony Blair hesitates momentarily and then confidently replies, "Well, Your Majesty, I guess it would be me." "Correct" says the Queen. "Thank you and good day to you."

The Queen hangs up and says "Did you hear that Mr. Bush? See how clever he is." Impressed, Bush replies "I certainly did. I'll definitely be using that one when I conduct my next Cabinet shuffle back in the US."

Upon returning to Washington, Bush decides he'd better put some of his senior Cabinet Members to the test. He summons Dick Cheney to his office and says, "Dick, I wonder if you could answer a question for me?" "Why of course Sir" Cheney responds unenthusiastically, annoyed that the President was again seeking his input on something. "Well, uh, let's say your mother has a child and your father too has a child. This child is not your brother and also is not your sister. Who is it?"

Somewhat surprised at this odd question, Cheney hums and haws and finally asks if he can have some time to think about it. "Certainly" responds Bush. Cheney immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republicans and they puzzle over the question for several hours. Totally baffled, they decide to conduct some research and contact a loyal Washington consulting firm. A budget of ¤10 million is provided and intensive research is carried out over the next two weeks. Unfortunately, the consultants are unable to come up with an answer.

Desperate to prove that he is smarter than George, Cheney decides to take a chance and calls Al Gore. "I realize you are just a Tennessee redneck and are not all that wise in the ways of the world, but maybe you can help me out with a problem I have."

Gore is naturally sceptical about Republican promises, but in the spirit of political co-operation he agrees to do what he can to help. "O.K., here goes" says Cheney. "Your mother has a child and your father has a child. The child is not your brother or your sister. Who is the child?" Without hesitating, Gore responds "It would be me, of course".

Impressed at the his reply, Cheney brushes him off and rushes to the President's office where he is watching football and eating snack foods under the watchful eye of the Secret Service on the lookout for choking. " I know the answer, Sir! I know who the child is!!" Bush, who was privately a bit concerned at the delay in hearing back from Cheney, is delighted (when he finally remembers what it was he asked). "Who is it Dick?" he asks.

With obvious pride, Cheney replies "It's Al Gore, George - its Al Gore!!"

Stunned, Bush shouts in disgust, "Wrong you idiot - it's Tony Blair!!"