April 15th, 2003

Illuminati

Today's bad joke

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door.
Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it."
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$175.00"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball mitt."
The lover remembering the last time asks the
boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$375.00"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$550.00"

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
Illuminati

Plan for the evening

What shall we do to fill the empty spaces
Where waves of hunger roar?
Shall we set out across the sea of faces
In search of more and more applause?
Shall we buy a new guitar?
Shall we drive a more powerful car?
Shall we work straight through the night?
Shall we get into fights?
Leave the lights on?
Drop bombs?
Do tours of the east?
Contract diseases?
Bury bones?
Break up homes?
Send flowers by phone?
Take to drink?
Go to shrinks?
Give up meat?
Rarely sleep?
Keep people as pets?
Train dogs?
Race rats?
Fill the attic with cash?
Bury treasure?
Store up leisure?
But never relax at all
With our backs to the wall.
Illuminati

And while we're on the subject

Us, and them
And after all we're only ordinary men
Me, and you
God only knows it's not what we would choose to do
Forward he cried from the rear
and the front rank died
And the General sat, and the lines on the map
moved from side to side

Black and blue
And who knows which is which and who is who
Up and down
And in the end it's only round and round and round
Haven't you heard it's a battle of words
the poster bearer cried
Listen son, said the man with the gun
There's room for you inside

Down and out
It can't be helped but there's a lot of it about
With, without
And who'll deny it's what the fighting's all about
Out of the way, it's a busy day
I've got things on my mind
For want of the price of a tea and a slice
The old man died
Illuminati

Belated Birthdays

Yesterday was the tenth birthday of Mosaic, the first major browser, written by Marc Andressen (who went on to found Netscape).

I'd been using the internet for 2 years at that point in text only form, over telnet, email and usenet. The web took a while to take off, so long in fact that Windows 95 didn't have a web browser in it and Microsoft had plans for a project codenamed Magpie which they believed would be better than the internet or AOL.

Let's think about that context - 10 years ago, AOL and Microsoft were both considered bigger than the internet. That thought is now completely unthinkable.

Gosh