March 18th, 2003



Just got up to go to work. Head's spinning, so I'm now heading back to bed. Ick. I was hoping this would have gone away over night.

(no subject)

I just clciked on three different peopl in MSN and then closed the windows. I really don't feel that I have anything useful to say right now.

I seem to have lost my wish to chatter.

Mindless fripperies fail to make me happy

Since I got all of my news/friends all coming through one place, I can check 9000 times a day to see if anything is happening in the world. I have become increasingly unamused by all of it. My attention span doesn't seem to have lowered hugely, but my interest in trivia seems to have shrivelled now that I have so much at my fingertips.

I find myself downloaded cool applets from the internet, only to find that they don't actually do anything I find terribly useful. I surf for porn, only to find that I can't look past the cliche. I look for meaning in a thousand places and see little that I haven't seen a thousand times before.

I've started a couple of larger projects - I'm writing up ideas and theories and trying to lay out the things I believe. But today I have no appetite for it. I can't bring my mind to bear and the frustration is driving me mad. I've done literally nothing but stare out of the window and hit 'refresh' on pages that I know will bring me nothing I want.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring me more concentration. Actually, it won't, but it will bring work - which will keep me occupied for most of the day - and Stephen in the evening, which is always good for a laugh. I have to persuade him he wants to see Adaptation, which may also be amusing. Or at least more amusing than Being John Malkovich, which had moments of interest, but largely seemed to be doing too much for the sake of it - a Jackass for the mind, if you will.

Right, off to Ars Magica, where I may manage to summon enough enthusiasm to have fun. Somewhere out there is the thing that will spring my joi de vivre back into being. I intend to find it.