I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free.
Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West.
Surely every car is a people carrier?
What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go.
Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day.
The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.
Clowns divorce. Custardy battle.
They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for...
You can see the ones that weren't quite good enough to get on the list here.